City of Sad Toys

It's a Trap

2011-04-19T11:46:00.008-04:00

WHEN: April 2011

WHERE: Watch Hill, Rhode Island

PHOTO: Shawn T.

This baby doll in a lobster trap maybe the creepiest sad toy ever. Totally awesome!

Land Shark!

2011-03-11T08:52:00.003-05:00

WHERE: Oakland, Calif.

WHEN: January 2011

PHOTO: Julie M., in Oakland

It's hard to fear sharks -- even one of this size -- when it's shoved in a trash can.

No Fairy-Tale Ending

2011-03-06T09:20:00.002-05:00

WHEN: February 2011
WHERE: Friendship, Pittsburgh
Found facedown around the back of a bar -- looks like the party's over for Shrek and Donkey

Fall Squash

2010-11-09T08:30:00.004-05:00

WHEN: October 2010

WHERE: East Liberty, Pittsburgh

This is the toy equivalent of seeing a pile of squashed guts on the highway. No idea what this once was, but it's dead now.

Day-of-the-Dead Dead

2010-11-02T07:23:00.004-04:00

WHEN: October 20101

WHERE: Shadyside, Pittsburgh

Hard times have befallen this sexy, already-dead nurse.

Pumpkinhead

2010-10-31T08:49:00.003-04:00

WHEN: October 2010

WHERE: South Side, Pittsburgh

These little toys look cute in cupcakes, but what sad fates befall them when the dessert is eaten and gone?

They're All Gone

2010-10-20T08:09:00.004-04:00

WHEN: September 2010

WHERE: Brooklyn, N.Y.

PHOTO: John P. in NYC

This is unspeakable, some kind of mass dump of toys.

Angry Egg

2010-10-13T09:43:00.004-04:00

WHEN: January 2010

WHERE: Strip District, Pittsburgh

This guy: scrambled, poached, hardboiled, fried but definitely not over-easy.

Monkey Time No. 3

2010-10-11T09:05:00.004-04:00

WHEN: May 2010

WHERE: Venice Beach, California

PHOTO: Monica in Calif.

Face down in the gutter -- no way to be.

Monkey Time No. 2

2010-10-08T08:06:00.002-04:00

WHERE: Friendship, Pittsburgh

WHEN: October 2009

Despite being flat and bright yellow, this monkey looks almost real, weaving its way through the jungle.

Monkey Time No. 1

2010-10-01T08:41:00.002-04:00

WHEN: September 2010
WHERE: Brooklyn, New York City
PHOTO: Jon P. in NYC
Kicking off a mini-series of discarded monkeys is this guy. At first glance, he looks kinda happy sitting in a tree. Then I noticed he was strapped in. That's messed up, dude.

Panda on Board

2010-09-29T09:14:00.001-04:00

WHERE: Oakland, Calif.
WHEN: April 2010
PHOTO: Meredith J. in Oakland
Who doesn't like to ride in the back of a truck? Look at that smile!

Head of Stewie

2010-09-26T10:20:00.002-04:00

WHEN: May 2010
WHERE: South Oakland, Pittsburgh
I like how he looks just as non-plussed upside-down.

Yabba Dabba Ewwww

2010-09-24T09:15:00.002-04:00

WHEN: May 2010
WHERE: East Village, New York City
PHOTO: Andy N. in NYC
This ain't no Bedrock.

South Pole Wanderer

2010-09-20T11:07:00.002-04:00

WHEN: September 2010
WHERE: Brooklyn, New York
PHOTO: Leigh Fox, in New York City
This misguided penguin is 1. in the wrong hemisphere and 2. dressed for the wrong holiday. Plus, stuck on a fence.

Ay Chihuahua!

2010-09-14T08:47:00.001-04:00

WHEN: April 2010
WHERE: Lawrenceville, Pittsburgh
The pocket-dog fad is over, and this little amigo is out with the trash.

Have You Seen My Dinosaur?

2010-09-10T08:41:00.002-04:00

WHERE: Friendship, Pittsburgh
WHEN: March 2010
Sort of a toy-game double-header, as this dinosaur has been dumped on the park's chessboard table

Chick of the Sea

2010-09-08T08:55:00.004-04:00

WHERE: Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic

WHEN: February 2008

PHOTO: Bethany Armstrong, Chicago

I can't help but think this is how the Little Mermaid really ended up.

The Day the Music Died

2010-05-23T09:54:00.003-04:00

WHEN: May 2010
WHERE: Regent Square, Pittsburgh
PHOTO: Jill in Pittsburgh
Looks like somebody gave up their rock-star dreams for a job in senior care. Happens every day.

Behind Baaaaaa-rs

2010-05-14T08:30:00.003-04:00

WHEN: May 2010
WHERE: Detroit, Mich.
PHOTO: Michael J., in Detroit
Oh no! Not Lambchop!

Peek-a-boo Boo-boo Bear

2010-04-26T08:26:00.003-04:00

WHEN: March 2009
WHERE: East Liberty, Pittsburgh
The minute I saw this stroller crammed between some newspaper boxes outside Whole Foods, I knew it was tragic junk. I also rightly suspected it would stay there for days, which it did.

"I Used to Be Somebody"

2010-04-16T12:15:00.005-04:00

WHERE: Detroit, Mich.

WHEN: April 2010

PHOTO: Michael J., in Detroit

Hard times have befallen one of the Mario Brothers.

Kawaii Down!

2010-04-09T10:43:00.002-04:00

WHEN: April 2010
WHERE: Shibuya Crossing, Tokyo
PHOTO: Jessica M.
Even being "kawaii" -- super cute and adorable -- can't save this little plushie. Kitten, mouse, bunny? It's so freakin' cute I can't even tell!

Death of a Doll

2010-04-06T09:12:00.003-04:00

WHEN: March 2010
WHERE: Bloomfield, Pittsburgh
PHOTO: Chris P. In Pittsburgh
Chris reports: "When I first walked past, the doll was laying face down, as in the first photo. What may not be clear is that the doll is headless. When I walked past later, the doll had been moved onto its back, and the new perspective revealed the bondage angle of the doll's hands tied together. One can only imagine the events that led to this poor doll's demise."

Bored Games

2010-03-27T09:50:00.003-04:00

WHEN: March 2010
WHERE: East Liberty, Pittsburgh
Scrabble tops this box of board games dumped in a corner of a parking lot.

Snow Emergency

2010-03-22T09:05:00.001-04:00

WHEN: February 2010
WHERE: Friendship, Pittsburgh
A lot of parking challenges during the city's snowiest month ever.

Bunny Down in Brooklyn

2010-02-16T08:50:00.003-05:00

WHEN: January 2010
WHERE: Brooklyn, New York
PHOTO: Leigh in NY
It's like one of those tragic hard-partying starlets who collapses getting out of the limo.

Not-So-Secret Squirrel

2010-02-11T16:42:00.003-05:00

WHEN: February 2010
WHERE: Kensington Market, Toronto
PHOTO: Laurie McG. in Toronto
Laurie sez: This was lying on the ground, underneath a bike. I spotted him and propped him up on a rock next to the bike in order to take a photograph, and make him more visible so that he might be reclaimed by his owner.

I Am a Sad Toy

2010-02-11T16:32:00.002-05:00

I had some computer issues that finally resolved themselves in a hard-drive death. Hence, the lack of posts recently. But, I'm back up a new horse, and moving forward.
Not sure how many stored photos I had on that dead hard drive (or where I backed them up), so if you've been thinking about sending in your own photos, now is a great time!

Truckin' Trauma

2010-01-07T09:14:00.002-05:00

WHEN: December 2009
WHERE: Broadway Tunnel, San Francisco
PHOTO: Roger in San Francisco
There are few things worse than breaking down in a tunnel.

Don't Fence Me In

2010-01-05T08:07:00.002-05:00

WHEN: November 2008
WHERE: Garfield, Pittsburgh

There is some deep impulse within folks to shove stuffed animals into chain-link fences. Here's three guys riding out the winter the hard way. Or maybe they're escaping ...

Happy New Year: Sad Version

2010-01-01T14:45:00.001-05:00

WHEN: January 2009
WHERE: Friendship, Pittsburgh
That's right 2009, where's your Happy New Year fun hat now? In the gutter.

Later, Snow Guy

2009-12-21T07:58:00.002-05:00

WHEN: December 2009
WHERE: Squirrel Hill, Pittsburgh
This snowman was dumped with a mess of other trash, headed for the landfill, even if he is trying to hide behind the telephone pole.

A Bridge Too Far

2009-12-18T09:14:00.003-05:00

WHERE: Smithfield Bridge, Downtown Pittburgh
WHEN: November 2009
I'm at a loss to describe this -- a baby frog? some random green creature in shorts? Also, what's with the ABC on its shirt? One thing for sure: A pile of dead leaves on the bridge is no place to call home.

Street of Shame

2009-12-16T10:17:00.003-05:00

WHEN: December 2009
WHERE: Friendship, Pittsburgh
PHOTO: Mac H. in Pittsburgh
Was it a hard-partying night that left this bear face down and ass up in the snowy street?

The Housing Crisis Cuts Deep

2009-12-07T08:32:00.003-05:00

WHEN: November 2009
WHERE: Silicon Valley, Calif.
PHOTO: Lizzie in Calif.
LIzzie notes that with so many properties "underwater" in California, even the dolls are just walking away from homes.

Happy (Sad) Thankgiving

2009-11-25T09:03:00.001-05:00

WHEN: December 2008
WHERE: South Side, Pittsburgh
The soggy remains of some kid's construction-paper turkey

Sidewalk Slumpin'

2009-11-23T09:01:00.004-05:00

WHEN: November 2009
WHERE: Astoria, New York
PHOTO: Kim in NYC
Looks like another morning-after from the another night-before for this guy

Looking for Some Tail?

2009-11-18T09:09:00.001-05:00

WHEN: November 2009
WHERE: Shadyside, Pittsburgh
There's a sad furry somewhere who's missing a clip-on tail. Grrrrrr.

Out of Bounds

2009-11-16T08:29:00.002-05:00

WHEN: July 2009
WHERE: Downtown, Pittsburgh
Steelers football wedged in window of shuttered restaurant.

Blue Blob at Bus Stop

2009-11-10T09:37:00.001-05:00

WHEN: November 2009
WHERE: Shadyside, Pittsburgh
This guy was just hangin' out at the bus stop. He looks like he's been drinking.

Buggin'

2009-11-04T09:13:00.002-05:00

WHEN: January 2009
WHERE: Bloomfield, Pittsburgh
The cold weather comes, and the insects die.

Fangs for Nothing

2009-11-02T08:31:00.002-05:00

WHEN: November 2008
WHERE: Friendship, Pittsburgh

When Halloween's over, these fancy teeth just get kicked to the curb. Sad.

Hey Boo!

2009-10-30T09:38:00.002-04:00

WHEN: November 2008
WHERE: South Side, Pittsburgh
ADDED PATHOS: Cigarette butts
The happiest, saddest ghost head.

Baby Help-Me-Up

2009-10-26T07:58:00.002-04:00

WHEN: September 2009
WHERE: East Liberty, Pittsburgh
Won't somebody help this naked baby?

Broken Arrow Alert

2009-10-22T09:18:00.001-04:00

WHEN: October 2009
WHERE: Shadyside, Pittsburgh
In cheesy thrillers, a "broken arrow" is a lost nuke. Here, it's ... well ... just a broken arrow.

The Perils of Kewpie

2009-10-19T08:26:00.002-04:00

WHEN: September 2009
WHERE: Oakland, Calif.
PHOTO: Lizzie in Calif.
Lizzie writes: "This kewpie doll was in Oakland, obviously in danger. I felt so sorry for it that I picked it up and now it's living on my windowsill with a lot of other toys. A happy ending!"

Today's Post Is Brought to You By ...

2009-10-13T08:34:00.003-04:00

WHEN: March 2009
WHERE: Point Breeze, Pittsburgh
PHOTO: Jill in Pittsburgh
... the letter "M."

Your Ride Is Over

2009-10-09T08:35:00.002-04:00

WHEN: August 2009
WHERE: Homestead, Pa.
It's official: The reign of mini-vans is no more; park these babies out by the garbage.

Boo Hoo Boohbah

2009-10-07T09:08:00.002-04:00

WHEN: September 2009
WHERE: Shadyside, Pittsburgh
PHOTO: Lydia in Pittsburgh
Dumped on the curb, outside the Ronald McDonald House.

Go, Puppy, Go

2009-10-05T08:25:00.006-04:00

WHEN: September 2009
WHERE: Shadyside, Pittsburgh

I like how it looks like this dog is running, but, in fact, he's not getting anywhere except under the wheels of another car.

Please Curb Your Dog

2009-10-02T08:41:00.002-04:00

WHEN: September 2009
WHERE: Santa Clara, Calif.
PHOTO: Lizzie F. in Calif.
Uh ... looks like we're gonna need a bigger trash can. Love the crazy pink color, the placid suburban background. Woof!

Bye Bye Bunny

2009-09-30T09:13:00.002-04:00

WHEN: September 2009

WHERE: Ravenswood, Chicago

PHOTO: Jane in Chicago
Dumped, but this bunny is going out on his own terms. The body language says: Chillin', all cool.

Make Mine a Redhead

2009-09-28T08:14:00.003-04:00

WHEN: September 2009

WHERE: Uptown, Pittsburgh

I saw this from the bus, and hopped off. You can't miss a flaming redhead plopped down on the sidewalk. (Two hours later, thousands of anti-globalists and riot cops came down stomping this very block. It's likely something very terrible happened to Red.)

Rock This Town ... or Not

2009-09-25T09:17:00.002-04:00

WHEN: September 2009
WHERE: Strip District, Pittsburgh
Another promising musical career abandoned.

Urban Farming

2009-09-23T08:44:00.002-04:00

WHEN: December 2008

WHERE: Homestead, PA

A tough row to hoe.

If I Had a Hammer ...

2009-09-21T08:24:00.001-04:00

WHEN: June 2009
WHERE: Bloomfield, Pittsburgh
... or at least part of a toy hammer ...

Suck on This

2009-09-18T08:47:00.003-04:00

WHEN: September 2009
WHERE: North Side, Pittsburgh
Never mind that this is lying on the ground ... who would design a pacifier to make a baby look like it's sucking the brains out of the back of a cat's head?

The Dress Still Looks Great

2009-09-16T09:29:00.004-04:00

WHEN: September 2009
WHERE: beach at New Rochelle, NY
PHOTO: Rose in NY
I dunno if this gal washed in from the French Revolution or what, but this is pretty tragic.

America's New Frontline

2009-09-10T08:37:00.002-04:00

WHEN: August 2009
WHERE: Kohl's, North Hills, Pittsburgh
PHOTO: Jill in Pittsburgh
Keeping our discount department store restrooms safe from freedom-haters.

Seven Days of Balls: No. 7 Cycle Ball

2009-09-08T07:55:00.001-04:00

WHEN: November 2008
WHERE: South Side, Pittsburgh

Seven Days of Balls: No. 6 Baseball

2009-09-07T09:19:00.002-04:00

WHEN: March 2009
WHERE: Lawrenceville, Pittsburgh
Today, the Pittsburgh Pirates have a chance to lock up one of the greatest records in all of professional sports: most consectutive losing seasons (17). To show support, I offer this busted baseball.

Seven Days of Balls: No. 5 Golf Ball

2009-09-06T13:34:00.001-04:00

WHEN: November 2008
WHERE: Strip District, Pittsburgh

A classy ball and a classy car on a not-so-classy alleyway

Seven Days of Balls: No. 4 Mickey Ball

2009-09-05T11:31:00.001-04:00

WHEN: January 2009
WHERE: Bloomfield, Pittsburgh

Seven Days of Balls: No. 3 Basketball

2009-09-04T08:59:00.004-04:00

WHEN: June 2009
WHERE: Braddock, Pa.
PHOTO: Gisele in Braddock

Seven Days of Balls: No. 2 Eight Ball

2009-09-03T08:58:00.002-04:00

WHEN: March 2009
WHERE: Garfield, Pittsburgh

Seven Days of Balls: No. 1 Thunderball

2009-09-02T09:23:00.003-04:00

WHEN: November 2008
WHERE: Lawrenceville, Pittsburgh
Balls on the loose are the most commonly seen sad toy. This mini-series highlights a variety of forlorn orbs.

Shrek Dreck

2009-08-31T08:06:00.001-04:00

WHEN: August 2009
WHERE: Shadyside, Pittsburgh
Here's a much-marketed green guy who's overstayed his welcome. Now, blow away.

Every Dog Has Its Day

2009-08-26T09:07:00.004-04:00

WHEN: November 2008

WHERE: Friendship, Pittsburgh
I found this 1950s ceramic poodle planter lying in a trash heap in an alley. Cleaned it up, and found it a new forever home.

Wheels Up

2009-08-24T08:07:00.002-04:00

WHEN: August 2009
WHERE: Homestead, PA
Another in the trash-for-clunkers series.

Ball of Confusion

2009-08-22T16:45:00.002-04:00

WHEN: August 2009
WHERE: Homestead, PA
As far as I can tell, this is a brown tennis ball that's sprouted a huge two-tone Davy Crockett tail.

Monkey Business

2009-08-19T08:53:00.001-04:00

WHEN: August 2009

WHERE: Friendship, Pittsburgh

This little guy needs to do a better job of blending into the jungle.

Mini-Series: National Park Tragedies No. 3

2009-08-17T08:35:00.002-04:00

WHEN: July 2009
WHERE: Banff National Park, Alberta, Canada
A tennis ball far from home but the wildflowers are pretty companions.

Mini-Series: National Park Tragedies #2

2009-08-14T08:38:00.003-04:00

WHEN: July 2009

WHERE: Camp Mather, Yosemite National Park, Calif.

PHOTO: Candi in San Francisco

Candi sez: "What freakish wave washed this tiny boat ashore ... under the mighty pines of Yosemite?"

Mini-Series: National Park Tragedies #1

2009-08-12T13:37:00.012-04:00

WHEN: July 2009

WHERE: Yoho National Park, British Columbia

This rather pathetic plastic sandbox rake definitely gets a boost from the scenery: Takakkaw Falls, Canada's second highest waterfall.

Moose, No Longer Loose

2009-08-10T08:10:00.002-04:00

WHEN: July 2009
WHERE: East Village, Manhattan
PHOTO: Andrew N. in NYC
With dog, Henry Hudson, this almost looks like one of those fancy old paintings -- the hound and the giant creature he's just nobly brought down. However, Mr. Hudson simply came across this downed moose on the sidewalk.

Disposable Razor

2009-08-07T13:06:00.003-04:00

WHEN: November 2008
WHERE: Lawrenceville, Pittsburgh
Remember the frenzy when everybody just HAD to have one of these Razor scooters? Well, it's over.

Still on the Job

2009-08-05T09:00:00.002-04:00

WHEN: July 2009
WHERE: Butte, MT
The shop is closed up but this bear is unwilling -- or too drunk -- to leave.

Half Woman, All Tragedy

2009-08-03T08:07:00.003-04:00

WHEN: July 2009
WHERE: Troy Hill, Pittsburgh, PA
PHOTO: Larkin in Pittsburgh
ADDED PATHOS: Cigarette butts, busted rubber band
This gal is bottomless -- and topless, though one of her plastic boobs has collapsed.

When Clowns Go Bad

2009-07-31T09:03:00.001-04:00

WHEN: July 2009
WHERE: Logan, Chicago
PHOTO: Mark in Chicago
Mark sez: "This was in our backyard this morning. Not sure whether to be charmed by the reference to the classic Simpsons' Halloween episode, or terrified by random satanic Krusty dolls appearing on our property."

Strolling Along

2009-07-29T08:58:00.002-04:00

WHEN: July 2009
WHERE: Squirrel Hill, Pittsburgh
If you're gonna abandoned a baby doll, you might as well push the stroller right into a huge pile of garbage.

Dancing in the Streets

2009-07-27T08:52:00.000-04:00

WHEN: June 2009

WHERE: Shadyside, Pittsburgh
This little brown plastic guy is gettin' funky ... or has gotten run over.

Fun With Geese

2009-07-24T09:28:00.000-04:00

WHEN: April 2009

WHERE: Monongahela River, Downtown Pittsburgh

ADDED PATHOS: River debris
It was a dull day wading through the river muck until one goose spotted a ball.

Shopping Cart Crime Spree

2009-07-22T09:23:00.001-04:00

WHEN: July 2009

WHERE: East Liberty, Pittsburgh

These pint-sized shopping carts -- from Wal-Mart no less -- let kids get started early on abandoning them on the street. These junior cart-burglars also left the groceries behind.

Pink and Prickly

2009-07-20T09:17:00.001-04:00

WHEN: June 2009
WHERE: Strip District, Pittsburgh
Even though this creature is covered in nasty spines for defense, it's still hiding under a piece of newspaper just to be safe.

Gulf Ball

2009-07-17T08:40:00.000-04:00

WHEN: 2009

WHERE: Beach at abandoned pearl-fishing village, in Northern Qatar

PHOTO: Matthew T. of DC

This is going to a lonely -- and hot -- vigil for this washed-up sports ball.

I Bagged a Lion!

2009-07-15T11:17:00.000-04:00

WHEN: July 2009

WHERE: Friendship, Pittsburgh

At least, I think it's a lion. For sure, though, it's bagged.

Trashy Ride

2009-07-12T19:46:00.003-04:00

WHEN: June 2009
WHERE: New York City
PHOTO: Leigh in Brookyln
Oh no, Barbie!

Batter Up

2009-07-09T07:46:00.005-04:00

WHEN: July 2009

WHERE: Eliza Furnace Trail, Pittsburgh

Given the sorry state of the Pirates baseball club, I'm surprised we don't see more of the players' heads stuck on fences around town.

Thriller: Michael Jackson's Sad Toy

2009-07-07T07:17:00.006-04:00

WHEN: July 2009

WHERE: Alameda County Fair, Calif.

PHOTO: Roger in San Fran

ADDED PATHOS: Non-stop Michael-Jackson-is-dead coverage

Quite possibly the largest sad toy ever -- from the glittery high of Neverland to the bally-hoo low of the county-fair circuit. Today, as the world stops to remember Jackson, let us take a moment to ponder: Somebody had this ride in their back yard.

Rider in the Sky

2009-07-06T07:19:00.002-04:00

WHEN: June 2009

WHERE: East Liberty, Pittsburgh

One of those horses that gallops through the sky -- as seen on 70s LP covers and sides of conversion vans -- has crashed into some roof structure.

Doll Daze No. 4: Free to a Good Home

2009-07-03T13:03:00.003-04:00

WHEN: May 2009
WHERE: Columbia Heights, Washington, D.C.
Floating to the surface in this box of curbside trash. The good news: When I walked by later, the doll was gone -- and hopefully to a good home.

Doll Daze No. 3: The Horror

2009-07-01T07:58:00.003-04:00

WHEN: November 2008
WHERE: Moorpark, Calif.
PHOTO: Dan in Calif.
Here's the backstory: Dan was helping a couple of older women clean out their houses so some painting could be done. The houses were stuffed to the brim with collector dolls off Home Shopping Network. Think boxes where they had made pathways to get from one side to the other. It was in such a mess, the cats had puked and pissed on the dolls, and there was rat droppings and whatnot. Needless to say, the collector status of the dolls was highly in question considering their condition. Pictured above: a survivor.

Doll Daze No. 2: It's Alive!

2009-06-29T08:45:00.003-04:00

WHEN: June 2009
WHERE: Shadyside, Pittsburgh
PHOTO: Jason P.
It's like creepy-toy Invasion of the Body Snatchers, where a garbage-bag pod is birthing a doll.

Doll Daze No. 1: Curbside

2009-06-27T08:40:00.002-04:00

WHEN: June 2009
WHERE: South Side Slopes, Pittsburgh

Catchin' some rays. I love the ponytails about to take flight.

Trouble at the Track

2009-06-25T07:16:00.002-04:00

WHEN: June 2009
WHERE: Shadyside, Pittsburgh
Looks like NASCAR's made its last pit stop.

Butterflies Are Free

2009-06-23T12:49:00.002-04:00

WHEN: May 2009
WHERE: Shadyside, Pittsburgh
ADDED PATHOS: Grubby, outdated political clutter
Oooh, look! A butterfly landed on the news box!

Peace in Our Time

2009-06-21T10:01:00.003-04:00

WHEN: May 2009
WHERE: Friendship, Pittsburgh
In a world of unending turmoil, at least two warriors have laid their weapons down. Though by the looks of these weird space guns, these combatant may not have been of this earth.

Ball of Joy

2009-06-19T07:00:00.002-04:00

WHEN: June 2009
WHERE: Shadyside, Pittsburgh
PHOTO: Lisa C.
I'm so happy that I'm not going to roll down that drain.

Land Shark!

2009-06-17T09:17:00.002-04:00

WHEN: May 2009
WHERE: Downtown Pittsburgh
PHOTO: Jason P.
Once a fearsome killer of the seas, now washed up, dried up and stepped on.